Day 1 - Why Have a Marriage Habit?

the problem

Even with a perfect environment without kids, no commute, no office politics, and great real estate, Adam and Eve messed up their marriage.

They took their eyes off of God.

They fell into temptation.

They introduced sin that now runs through the blood of every married couple.

On top of that, thanks to them, all of us must also contend with a fallen, wicked world within our own marriage.

So...what do habits have to do with this?

Psalm‬ ‭119‬:‭97‬-‭98‬ ‭ESV‬‬

“Oh how I love your law! It is my meditation all the day. Your commandment makes me wiser than my enemies, for it is ever with me.” ‭‭

my story

Staring at the mess of our marriage, I realized so much was avoidable.

The funny thing is, before we got married, I laid out the intention and a plan to build a firm foundation to proactively avoid the inevitable pain.

It still failed.

I began writing a set of devotionals that I would have loved to have been reading with my wife daily since the day we were married, if not before.

It seemed so obvious to do. But I understood that it wouldn't be easy.

the lie

It's become a platitude to say that the best habit is to spend quiet time in God's word.

Or a couple that prays together stays together.

Statements like these are true -- meaning, they are not wrong. Who can argue with reading Scripture and praying?

But while true...they aren't the full truth.

To me, unspoken truths, withheld truths, give space for lies, including lies we tell ourselves.

the pain

After all, if these statements were the full truth, most people would follow them.

Yet, pain from marriage conflict is real and common.

What then is the missing truth?

the truth

All marriages start as the frog in a pot of cool water...that's sitting on a lit stove.

This plan will keep referencing this image.

I hope you take it to heart.

The rest of this series is to instill the following:

I added an extra message that goes beyond the text here in the audio. I hope you take the time to listen to it.

If you want to dive in further into the devotionals, you can find them here at